Thanks for juggling in time to give this a quick read. Actually, it’s FOR you, and not about me, so good time investment 😉
Writing this sitting in Urgent Care with my eldest daughter, and yes, the ‘where I am’ is important to know as it influences my vantage point on all of this… and more.
As promised …
Leopard – Your film is beautiful. You know this,
and you should be – you BETTER be – super proud of it… and of yourself for
creating it in all its aspects, for even the tasks you didn’t do, the roles you
didn’t portray in it, are all to your credit, that you selected the right
people to do your vision justice. Not just in your head/conceptually proud, but
feel it in your bones to your core, proud. Eoin, I didn’t know about you and
your work back in the ‘Cold’ creation era, so I missed out on being supportive
in any way – point being yes, I’m discussing that film but BREATHE MAN BREATHE –
I’m NOT someone you owe anything to. I know, probably more than you may think I
could, how much the strain of the ‘process’ and timing of it all, has taken/is
taking on you. That type of feeling can, when we aren’t super careful, start to
eat away at how much we feel the love of something – not how much we care, but
how much we feel it. Like layers of exhaustion, and messiness layered on top,
burying the true way we feel. I know that there are multiple facets to how this
affects you, ranging from professional to how you feel about and from
supporters’ ‘frustration’, etc. Know this: (a) You WILL get it all done, (b)
the end IS in sight… maybe a tad blurry at the moment, but it IS in sight, and
(c) MOST important, do NOT focus on the ‘what has to get done’ and remember your
love for this beautiful film. You HAVE to pull that forward to focus on through
all the muck and tweets and challenges and such. While I know your best work is
yet to come, this film is truly a masterpiece and NOTHING will ever change
that. Where I am sitting right now, and
what I have to stay cognizant of is not that different in principle. I cannot
focus on fear, sadness, nor on the stress, exhaustion, and strain. We all DO things
out of love and responsibility, but have to remember to stay in the
experience/state/feeling of the love part for whomever or whatever it is – that
is too precious to lose or dilute. It’s what it’s all about.
The Laugh – albeit a lame one – Last week, stumbled
out of my building one morning to take my daughter to work. It was a morning
where I’d been up till 2am writing and drinking, and of course at 5am the cats
decided to throw a kitty frat party, and my alarm went off at 630. So, coffee
in hand stumbling outside into glaring daylight…and what drives by, but a blue
mustang. Couldn’t see much but could see that. Stopped short (the kind where
coffee tidal waves up and out of the travel mug all over my hand.) and must
have looked confused. I knew it caught my eye for a reason but no way in hell
was my brain computing. My daughter cleared
it up by saying ‘it’s not the rabbit car’. She and her guy had come with me to
the Irish Film Festival so… luckily HER brain was functional that early. Like I
said, lame, but a coffee stained, ‘you’ related laugh at my expense can’t be
3) Life is hectic and busy. The facts are:
You are mega busy. That is not only based on how
many projects you mention being involved in, but because that is who you are.
To you, life – a huge part of what living is - is constantly creating. So I
KNOW that even in ‘quiet moments’, between ‘scheduled’ or ‘working’ moments –
you are busy. Bottom Line: Each moment must have intrinsic value/meaning/purpose.
Ø You have a bazillion people around you to support you, help you, work with, and who demand your attention and focus. Bottom Line: You really don’t need anyone else pulling at your time or distracting your focus.
Ø There are at least three or maybe four bazillion people who want your time and attention for various reasons. Bottom Line: While supportive and maybe helpful in its own way at times, the roar of the masses can be very demanding and draining.
Ø You are mega busy. Yes, it bears repeating.
Ø You were very probably just being gracious, especially since there I was standing in front of you, where it’s too uncomfortable to say ‘no, piss off’. Bottom line: with so much to do, so many people you know are of value and worth your time, and with so many people pulling at you, last thing that may seem like a good, worthwhile, let alone rewarding choice for you – would be coffee with me. I DID say this has nothing to do with me and is FOR you and while yes, I’d love to chat, love your company during some caffeine consumption, I am not being (fully) selfish here. No agenda, no unsavory or lascivious motivation. I ‘found’ you and wanted to meet ‘you’ before I knew the name, gender (though I had a good idea energy wise), let alone career or appearance of the person whose words I stumbled across at 2am so very long ago when I happened upon your blog. From the first moments of reading your words I wanted to meet, be in the same space with THAT soul. So mega cool your work is available to the masses, including me, for which I am grateful. Not that nor any of the typical reasons are the ‘why’. I have a LOT on my plate – always have – and I juggle, more accurately, a full set of plates and all solo, so prioritizing what is worth never giving up on is key for me. For better or worse Sir, you are on that list. If I could pinpoint the why I think this may be a mutually ‘not waste of time’, I would over articulate it as I do everything else. I don’t know. I just have a VERY uncharacteristic for me, feeling that the ‘why this coffee is important’ isn’t just about/for me….Besides which you have like years of kinda cool gifts waiting for you, so it can’t be all bad.
The Love of Chocolate – Chocolate is vital. It also melts, especially in the heat like we have been having recently here in LA. Is that why I can’t really ship all of this to you…or just keep it in my car in case I run into you somewhere? Hmmm. Maybe. Maybe there’s more to it …for similar reasons. You will just have to wait and see.
I know you are filming, have your amazing event this evening, a million more things, and have to leave to NM fairly soon. Any time to unravel the mystery of what can melt and why I might not be a waste of time, before you leave? Crazy life or not, I can be as flexible and accommodating as is most convenient for you. While I am currently based in the Valley, I am in Hollywood and West Hollywood multiple times a week. While unfortunately lately I have not, I used to drive to Venice all the time to just sit and write. Ocean air and the sea to shore balance do me a world of good. I drive all over hell and gone for reasons that I’m not fond of, so clearly, for a desired reason, I am game to drive wherever.
No matter what you decide on any of the rest of this – do NOT forget what I said about Leopard. It is true. It is important. It is yours to cherish and be proud of – always, no matter what.